heya bitches! been a bit, again. n im not filling out a survey this time. lol. i didnt think it was that long until i published it. lol oh well. okay well... whats been going on lately.

school really just blows. i mean omg, my classes are so much better and all and im enjoying my classes a lot more... maybe its because im a total traitor and quit band. lol and im loving it. but anyways.  that is awesome and its so much better not having to go to band class every freaking day and worry about stupid stuff and all. its just an awesome change. im really excited also because well, i have like 4 months of school left and i think that is amazing in itself. im uber excited to graduate guys. im just putting up with school so i can, well, get there faster and with no problems. lol.

chris and i are turning a year old in a month. needless to say, that is a welcome change also... and im also super happy about that.

i am so sick of work omg! i dont even want to talk about it, because there are so many gay things going on that i just dont even care.  heres a word of advice to the viewing public: DONT START DRAMA. DRAMA IS THE ANTITHESIS OF HUMANITY AND HAPPINESS. SO GET THE FUCK OVER URSELVES AND MOVE ON! there i said it.  lol. hope thats useful advice.

anyways, i really hate school. God i cant even escape it. like seriously. i am just so bored all the time... and even though tomorrow is going to be friday, im like ughhghghgh. prolly cuz i have to go to work tomorrow. oh well. life moves on so i guess i better too. i have a feeling this weekend is going to suck though. oh well. ill pull my little strings and fix it. hah hah.

well anyways i dont really have much to say. except this:

MY BIRTHDAY IS IN LIKE 15 DAYS.

hell yes, amen and hallelujah.

later guys.

xoxo - mara    

[ ] I am shorter than 5'4. nope i am exactly 5'4 and a quarter 
[x] I think I'm ugly sometimes. what girl doesnt?
[x] I have many scars. so awesome... not...
[ ] I tan easily. i tan better now than i used to tho...
[ ] I wish my hair was a different color.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance. again, what girl isnt?
[x] I had/have braces.
[ ] I wear glasses.
[x] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[ ] I have more than 2 piercings. not yet, heh heh
[ ] I have piercings in places besides my ears. see up ^
[ ] I have freckles.


Family/Home Life

[x] I've sworn at my parents. anybody who knows my parents and what they do knows why
[ ] I've run away from home.
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house.
[ ] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I've had children.
[ ] I've lost a child.


School/Work

[x] I'm in school.
[x] I have a job. sadly... it sux cuz i relly am starting to dislike my job for certain reasons and am thinking about searching around for another one
[x] I've fallen asleep at work/school. hah hah every day
[x] I almost always do my homework. but i do have my days/weeks where i do it but not at home
[ ] I've missed a week or more of school. never! yea exemptions
[x] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[x] I've stolen something from my job (nothing besides food)
[ ] I've been fired.


Embarrassment

[x] I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[ ] Disney movies still make me cry.
[ ] I've peed from laughing.
[x] I've snorted while laughing. heck yes but its quite a feat for me to do so
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried. like that one time in the hallway w/ stockings...
[x] I've glued my hand to something like my quilt man
[ ] I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[ ]I've had my pants rip in public talk to reigler for that one!

Health

[x] I was born with a disease/impairment. missing a disc and vertebrae in my spine... scoliosis too 
[ ] I've gotten stitches.
[ ] I've broken a bone.
[x] I've had my tonsils removed.
[x] I've sat in a doctors office with a friend.
[x] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[x] I've had chicken pox.


Experiences

[x] I've gotten lost in my city. lol.... LA to boot... that sucked... luckily some random guy who happened to not be a rapist (and who is still my friend) helped me out
[x] I've seen a shooting star. the other day actually
[x] I've wished on a shooting star. see ^
[x] I've seen a meteor shower.
[x] I've gone out in public in my pajamas. hello wisdom teeth appt soph yr
[x] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator im an asshole like that... i pressed all the call buttons at my dads appt today.... LOL
[x] I've kicked a guy where it hurts. SORRY MOON
[x] I've been to a casino. not legally!
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[x] I've gone skinny dipping.

[x] I've played spin the bottle.
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour my cousin did that and puked... 
[ ] I've crashed a car.
[ ] I've been Skiing
[x] I've been in a play. like in 2nd grade
[x] I've met someone in person from the internet. yea charlie... so hott...
[x] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern Lights.
[x]I've sat on a roof top at night. watched the sun come up too
[x] I've played chicken.
[x] I've played a prank on someone.
[x] I've ridden in a taxi.
[ ] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] I've eaten Sushi.
[x] I've been snowboarding.


Relationships

[ ] I'm single
[x] I'm in a relationship.
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married.
[ ] I've gone on a blind date.
[ ] I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.  
[x] I miss someone right now.
[x] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I've gotten divorced
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back. again, who hasnt?
[ ] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[x] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did. hello post-breakup anger


Honesty/Crime

[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[x] I've snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[ ] I am keeping a secret from the world
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[x] I've cheated on a test.
[x] I've run a red light.
[] I've been suspended from school.
[x] I've witnessed a crime.
[] I've been in a fist fight.
[]I've been arrested.
[x]I've shoplifted.
wow is it bad almost all of those are checked?

Drugs/Alcohol

[x] I've consumed alcohol.

[ ] I regularly drink.
[ ] I've passed out from drinking.
[ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[x] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.  
[ ] I've eaten shrooms.
[ ] I've popped E.
[ ] I've inhaled Nitrous.
[ ] I've done hard drugs.
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[ ] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed. sorry guys!
[ ] I take anti-depressants.
[ ] I'm anorexic or bulimic.
[ ] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[ ] I've hurt myself on purpose.
[x] I've woken up crying. creepiest thing ever!


Death and Suicide

[ ] I'm afraid of dying.
[x] I hate funerals.
[x] I've seen someone dying.
[x] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[x] Someone close to me has committed suicide.
[ ] I've planned my own suicide.
[ ] I've attempted suicide.
[ ] I've written a eulogy for myself.

Materialism

[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[x] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[x] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
[ ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[ ] I own something from Hot Topic. not anymore!
[x] I own something from Pac Sun.
[ ] I collect comic books.
[ ] I own something from The Gap.
[x] I own something I got on e-bay. chris got it for me
[ ] I own something from Abercrombie.

Random

[x] I can sing well. good enough
[x] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant. FOR SLEDDING!
[ ] I open up to others easily.
[x] I watch the news.
[ ] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
[x] I curse regularly.
[x] I sing in the shower.
[ ] I am a morning person.
[x] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[x] I'm a snob about grammar.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[ ] I twirl my hair
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name
[x] I love being neat
[ ] I love Spam
[ ] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day
[ ] I bake well.
[ ] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue
[x]I would wear pajamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[ ] I know how to shoot a gun. working on it
[ ] I've been shot before.
[ ] I am in love with love.
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I laugh at my own jokes.
[x] I eat fast food weekly.
[x] I believe in ghosts.
[ ] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[x] I 've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[x] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[ ] i love white chocolate
[ ] I bite my nails.
[x] I play video games.
[x] I'm good at remembering faces.
[x] I'm good at remembering names
[x] I'm good at remembering dates.
[ ] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
[x] My answers are totally honest

Currently Listening Karma and Effect By Seether Secret Song see related

heya bitches.  well... what a weekend. fucking understatement, thats what that is.  first of all, i fucked up.  bad.  long story short just so everyone knows the gist, i made out with a guy friend on thursday because he kissed me and i couldnt fucking control myself and i felt like shit.  so i ultimately decided to tell chris... because originally i wasnt going to tell anyone... but that so wouldnt have been the right thing to do. so i told him.  (and i guess that proves i still have something of a good streak in me...) and well we talked and worked it out and shit... and he wasnt ok and wasnt letting it slide because it wasnt my fault... but he said it made a difference that i didnt start it and that i was honest with him.  but he was still mad and disappointed.  hes better now, but still... he thought i was feeling worse about it than he was today. and hes right, because i did it.  it wasnt all my fault, but i participated.  and i realised i love chris more than anything, and thats why i feel bad.  relly bad.  and he said that he understands now how i feel around him and annie, and i dont blame him.  there trust issues both ways now... and it makes him uneasy that i will still be friends with and hang out with my guy friend.  but hey, i feel like that with him and annie.  so i guess were on even ground now in that area.  yay for fucking up.  i just hope this doesnt turn out super shitty in the long run. 

all i know is that this weekend totally blows, and im not looking forward to school tomorrow.  fuck it. three days, and i am outta that piece for a while.  and i dont care that it isnt even 2 weeks.  anything is better than being there right now.  seriously.

and thanks so much zack. i dunno if u know how much u helped.  thanx for being my bro.  cory, u the same man u the same.  and my beloved kocher- even tho i was shitty with you and u were shitty with me... im glad we talked on sat.  even if i was curled into a ball between crates in the back.  ur my girl, and i always want to be there for u, and u for me.  i love you too much for you just to not be there.

sorry so sad guys.  hopefully some cool interesting shit will happen later... no more for now. till next time, mes chèries.

xoxo - mara  

Currently Gaming Baldur's Gate 2: Shadows of Amn By Vivendi Universal see related

Il Neige Tout Blanc

what up bitches? well tonight was possibly the coolest night ever.  so yea whatever my parents are being bitches... but hey whats new? whatever i only have like 7 more months or less of living here so its WAY ok. lol. but anyways. 

 so today at school was ridiculously boring. as usual.  and i took my govt test that i didnt even study for and it was the EASIEST freaking test ive ever taken.  it amazed me.  i guess paying attention during review games really does help. especially since my teacher basically told us what was on the test. baller! and before that, madame switched our ridiculously gay oral vocab test to monday... so that made me super excited as well. the only thing i was remotely pissed about was that today when we took our govt test our teacher didnt tell us we had E instead of D lunch. that made me kinda salty, but i got over it. lol.  also another thing that kept bugging me was today people were acting like weve never gotten snow before. they were like omg were going to get out at noon because itll snow! dude ok, were HSE right? well if carmel didnt call off, we sure as hell werent. duh. cuz the superintendent of carmel is from freaking alaska. (seriously.) i knew off the bat they would do something tomorrow, and not in the middle of the day.  and guess who was right? me. cuz we have NO SCHOOL TOMORROW! what now... oh well whats new... im always right anyways.

speaking of snow... i left school at 305 and didnt get home to 343... gay. also, my car handles shitty in the snow, and when i pulled out slow, some asshole honked at me. needless to say, i flipped them off... it was snowing for chrissakes. whatever.

then i had to work tonight. lol i went in after it started snowing knowing that we werent going to have to do anything. and hey, i was right yet again.  i did absolutely nothing. lol. it was cool.  z-russ and i were in back for about 10 minutes and scott was like whatever were closing this because we just cancelled 3 church showings of narnia. made my night.  (thank you scott and rich.) then me, megan, kocher, chris, and z-russ went to steak n shake for some chow, cuz i dunno about everyone else besides me n kocher but we were starving. lol. so food it was.  and then megans mom got off work at the hospital and came to chill with us, which was awesome.  we sat there and talked to marquis when he was doing the marquee outside... in the f-ing snow... and we watched him just stick narnia at the bottom and say f-it.  it was funny. what else was funny was that we watched everyone almost kill themselves in the snow by skidding in the snowbanks. (kocher almost hit some chicks car... lol.)   also, we saw about 3 people drive on the meridian while we were sitting there eating.  moon would be proud.

oh yea and all the snow blowing around like a dust storm... except with snow? i dont think ive seen anything more haunting and beautiful. 

but anyhoo peeps i better go and plan out my free day tomorrrow... SINCE I DONT HAVE SCHOOL!!! lol. au revoir, mes chéries. bon nuit.

xoxo - mara   

Currently Listening With Teeth By Nine Inch Nails Sunspots see related

heya bitches! im BACK! lol i totally decided to start doing this again after we got our new computer all a-ok and up n running.  wow i was looking back on some of my more "recent" - n i use that term VERY loosely- posts and i realize how long its been.  and i decided too that im going to be brutally honest and blunt in this weblog, because its much better like that and i get some use out of this weblog and im not jsut censoring myself because im afraid i might piss people off. im leaving this place in 5 short months, and really, i could give a shit less if some random people get pissed off at me because im ranting about them.  this is my area, so whatever, and if people have a problem with my blog, get the fuck over it and dont read it. simple huh? see i say that and i know it sounds too simple, and yet i still am going to get flames when i piss someone off.  how mature, but whatever. im still in high school. but not for long. hah!

anyway, sorry so short for the first entry in like aeons.  my bad. but whatever, there WILL be follow up posts. i promise. (i hope.) gnite y'all.

mara